For the past 6 ½ years I have lived as in a fog. Ever since Oct. 2007 when Lindell was diagnosed with cancer, the operation, the betrayal & loss of job and subsequent 4 ½ years until his death. Now it’s been two years of floundering trying to find my way, my purpose.
For 41 years Lindell was by my side strengthening me. He thought I was independent and I was, but only as one with him. We worked side by side in the ministry and now I have no direction.
My trust and hope is in God but I can’t seem to hear from him as to the next step. I truly want only His will but it seems allusive. I feel myself falling into a dark place and I am too tired to resist much longer.
I wish I lived on the coast so I could walk the beach, listen to God and possibly find myself again. I used to find peace there when I was a teen and would escape there. We never intended to retire thus made no preparations, so now I don’t have the finances I need. At my age there are not a lot of options. I’ve only been able to get temp jobs so far and those are not enough to help me be self sufficient. I cannot continue to live with family indefinitely. What to do?